Partner Up, Hunker Down

Little Rahm Emanuel, dancer cum banker

Loyalties divided, a chip on his shoulder

Declares citizens orphaned from La Familia

With nary a word from our elusive Militia.

 

Inquisitive minds with penchants for survival

Are obliged to ponder the lack of upheaval

How could it be that Rednecks and Bad Asses

Mildly witness subjugation of their classes?

 

Sexists, Chauvinists, Pricks and Patriarchs

Have bites that little resemble their barks

Why would the manliest of American men

Stand down in the face of brazen oppression?

 

A riddle most worthy, an answer most pressing

Without populist force, it’s all window dressing

Conspicuous consumers and Suburbanites

Are the tippers of scales in civilized fights.

 

There are Unprepared millions of single women

And yang to yin, millions of Prepared single men

Grown remote from the society they would save

Fighting for freedom to a lonely early grave.

 

If Free Radical unions were commonly joined

And Patriot Partnerships were widely coined

For financial savings and emotional supports

Think efficient and felicitous Way Cool Forts.

 

Economies of scale never gather to One

It’s garishly plain, one by one we’re undone

Survival and resistance are team endeavors

Endgame forgives mixing business with pleasures.

 

One-night stands, steady girlfriends, long-haul wives

I propose matching singles will enhance many lives

Associations of couples, akin to a Firm

The better to ride out America’s shit storm.

 

By fours and by sixteens, by eighties or eights

Economy in numbers, safety at the gates

Biblically speaking, it’s a time for group worship

If it’s secular bullshit, think Entrepreneurship.

 

Whether all hell breaks loose or order is restored

Camaraderie and good cheer are meantime reward

Split the cost, share the risk, have some sex, get some sleep

Vowing watchful defense for each other to keep.

 

Of those who did perish with the Titanic sunk

Who suffered least were getting laid or getting drunk

A run for their money, a fright to their senses

Lies in a generalized mending of fences.

 

Should Reason in governance finally prevail

And a Patriot Partnership has known travail

A built-in expiration date set from the start

Will sound business practice trump unruly heart.

 

If a Baby Bang follows, that’s all to our good

The next wave of shopping, from houses to food

Beside our pitiful divorce rate of fifty percent

Rebel unions will be as winsome by accident

 

Prosperity and posterity, I spy focus

In Patriot Matchmaking Hocus Pocus

I spy another in rest and recreation

Destination spots for the family vacation.

 

Outdoors and hooked up, with acreage for training

Marksmanship and skillz whether sun, snow or raining

A place to swap stories and bring current the news

A haven for our like-minded to ward off the blues.

 

Their hotels, planes and restaurants will flounder

If the Coach class reverts to camping out yonder

With S’mores and War Stories by  campfire’s glow

Patriot Hideaways, kinda like Bohemian Grove.