It matters not if you run for office
Merely thinking of it proves that you care
Blanket assurances more than suffice
Hit us up ‘til every wallet is bare.
Irrelevant our human history
It’s obvious you’re unlike all others
We applaud the endless pleas for money
We’d give more if we had our druthers.
We dismiss our past and defy the odds
Probability theory is boring
No chance that you’ll become DeLays or Dodds
We are touched by your ceaseless imploring.
At last we have candidates we can trust
Even more if they elect not to run
Where governance makes compromise a must
Fundraising abbreviated is Fun.
Listen not to calls for animation
Disregard track records of malfeasance
Forget the drama of revolution
Politicking is a marathon dance.
Step lively in donating hard earned coin
Rest easy about war chest and coffer
Fundraising is THE collective to join
The ultimate no strings attached offer.
Send them your dollars and send them your cents
It’s the thing of paramount consequence
Cut to the chase, dispense with all pretense
Temples sans moneychangers is nonsense.
Sages say love makes the world go around
But money is what keeps it on axis
Skeptics and cynics and cheapskates abound
Send everything but what will pay taxes.
The bulk let us give to politicians
Wheeling and dealing do not come cheaply
Give extra to sexists and patricians
Though men got us into this shit deeply.