Tag Archives: Rescue Package

If You Give A House A Garage

Another of the children’s books that I was blessed to read a gazillion times was “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.”  If you give a mouse a cookie, chances are he’ll ask you for a glass of milk to go with it.  If you give him a glass of milk, chances are, he’ll ask you for a straw.  Then a napkin, then a mirror to check for a milk moustache, then scissors for a little trim, and on and on.

If you give a house a garage, chances are the household will buy as many cars as there are bays, plus a spare…that is, unless the garage houses the house’s overflow of Stuff and the cars spill onto the driveway and street.

How many people drove more than 30 minutes to work today?  How many people are this instant scoffing that they would LOVE to drive “only” 30 minutes to work?  How many people regularly spend an hour or more, each way, commuting to and from work?  The mind REELS at the lost productivity.

The heart breaks at the lost living.

Happily, since the Great Majority enjoys the privacy of individual coaches, a certain amount of productivity occurs as owner/operators work IN their car/offices…which is to say while operating moving equipment, amidst lots of other moving equipment, with other owner/operators doin’ THEIR thing.

In 2000, I took a driving course that came “with” purchase of a particular car.  Driving Dynamics, it was called.  SenSAtional.  It changed my life and I am NOT exaggerating.  As just a HUGE fer instance, there is no “blind spot” if your mirrors are positioned rightly.  Make no mistake, not having to look over your shoulder to change lanes in traffic that is sailing along at 70 or 80 miles as hour is a BIG plus.  I’m right smack in the middle of the Baby Boom…we were taught to drive by the P.E. teachers/coaches.  Whether Driver’s Education SHOULD be taught in high school is one debate but separately, in retrospect, I AM interested to know the rationale behind gym teacher = driving instructor.

One of the things I “learned”…more like, a gist that I recall without specifics…had to do with the number of feet a car will go forward, no matter HOW quick you are to “slam on the brakes.”  I want to say that it takes .06 seconds to get your foot from the accelerator to the brake, and I feel like I remember the numbers 60 and 90.  I sort of want to say that, regardless how swift a driver’s reaction time, a car traveling at 60 mph will still move forward 90 feet BEFORE the brakes are applied.  It seems unlikely that a driving course would give us examples of cars driving at 90 mph.  Of course, I’m not even sure those are the numbers although the point-six seconds sounds reasonable.  To make a short story long, the casualness of tailgating is an ongoing and substantial hazard to life and property.

In the same spirit, that pen you’re holding?  A projectile.

California banned talking on a phone while driving, unless it’s hands-free, but what do they say about the MILLIONS of us who are driving around holding three more shots of caffeine in a cup that is hot enough to warrant a “sleeve?”  Not a word about the people who simultaneously drive and shave, apply make-up, smoke, change channels, hold dogs, discipline children, write notes, read maps, READ BOOKS.  I have seen all this and more…not only on the streets of Los Angeles, but on the freeways…including, oddly, application of aerosol deoderant.

When the Rescue plan was a mere Bailout Proposal, I was talking to someone at one of the financial houses, “Sooo, whadyya think…reward the Bad Guys and one more fix for the Crack Addicts, or let ‘em sweat it out in Financial Rehab?”

“They HAVE to pass it.”

“Why?”

She went on to say that credit was “completely” frozen…that, by way of example, the lease was up on her car and that even she couldn’t even get financing for another lease.

I’m gonna be honest here, this doesn’t sound like a crisis to me.

We have lots and lots…and lots upon lots…indeed, we have ACRES of Used Cars.  

We are long and debilitatingly at war, even ostriches have come face to face with our Oil Situation, our economy is in the crapper and so is national morale…separately from Obamamania, of course…and we would throw MORE Assistance Money at Detroit?

I’m sure I oversimplify, but I also don’t buy the bullshit that everything is always more complicated than we realize.  The only thing that’s rocket science is rocket science.  Literally, all things considered, I cannot imagine why we would roll even ONE car off the line that isn’t at least a hybrid.  Stipulating exceptions…there are always exceptions…commercial vehicles, emergency vehicles, whatever.  So stipulated.  But for regular transportation for regular people, no, I cannot imagine the Reason.  If they build it, we will come?

Light rail.  Light rail.  Light rail.  Electricity.

Free up the oil for AvJet product supply line.  We want MORE airlines.  We want CHEAPER airfares.  For all the Stuff that all the people are spending all the money to get all the other people to buy, I believe that people on the move always spend more money than people at home.  Think about how you bleed money on a vacation.

Then think how you can’t afford the airfare even if you could afford the hotel bill, which presupposes that you even get that kind of vacation time where you work.

Not only people but the entire economy endures abiding negative impact from our LOUSY transportation systems.  People and entire ECONOMIES, note the plural, endure abiding loss of revenue because travel is prohibitively expensive to the rank and file.

Feed the classes, dine with the masses.  Feed the masses, dine with the classes.

We won’t even have to fight Big Oil to make it happen.  ExxonMobil Aviation, who knew?

http://www.exxonmobilaviation.com/AviationGlobal/default.asp

Consequences R Teachers

Anyone who has raised anyone, anyone who has trained anything knows that, you can talk ’til you’re blue in the face, it’s the follow-through that counts.  All else is pissing at the moon trying to make it more yellow. 

As a totally random example, let’s say a kid doesn’t keep up with his classwork all term…a cocky and ungrateful child of Privilege who is accustomed to all good coming to him irrespective of his attitude or performance.  The Entitled Teen’s customary remedy of cramming the night before an exam conflicts with a home game of Super Stars, loyalty to whom the Aristocratic Family of Four displays by purchase of season tickets that are more expensive than some people’s homes.  On the floor, the fifty-yard line, behind home plate, other box-type seats in cool venues.  High flyers.  The Good Life.  

Blah, blah, blah goes the speech about effective use of time.  Yada yada yada goes the speech about personal responsibility.  Blah, blah, blah goes the speech about the importance of education.  Yada yada yada goes the speech about The Future. 

Here is what matters.  Here is what determines whether and how the study habits change.  Do you leave the kid behind…perhaps inviting another to take his place since wasting his, alas, empty seat serves no purpose…or do you deliver those speeches all the way to the stadium, arena, field or other box-type seats in whatever cool venue?

That is what registers with the psyche…the rest is just a moving mouth.

All of our lip service to fair play, to honesty, to reliability, to responsibility, to conscientiousness, to free market enterprise, to prudence, to karma, to ethics, to Justice…out the friggin’ window with this bailout.

And what a misnomer that is, eh?  The idea that the boat has merely taken on a bit of lake is comforting.  I envision a flannel-shirted fisherman scooping the occasional pail of water out of the bottom of a trusty boat that has only sprung a slow leak…the aqua-equivalent of regularly adding a bit of air to the left rear tire.  Annoying but not alarming.

Changing the name from Bailout to Rescue Package more accurately reflects the severity but it also, I contend, attempts to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.  Rescue=good.  Unambiguously, straightforwardly good.  Not so, the bailout.  A dicey proposition cannot be reworded into goodness.  Well, I mean it CAN be done, it is done all the time.  Bad is continually packaged and presented as good…a practice that is facilitated, I expect, by our curious small=tall elasticity.   I’m saying it doesn’t fly, rewording a dicey proposition into goodness.  It doesn’t make it so.

Already we can see as additional billions of Rescue Dollars-not-to-be-confused-with-Monopoly-Money are sought and authorized, sought and authorized, sought and authorized, it is not the minor mop up implied by bailout, nor the unqualified good implied by rescue.  Euphemisms R Us.

This is the volume and force of a gusher, freshly tapped by wildcatters poaching on someone else’s land.  We are well-advised, I think, to seek Containment before Stimulus.  Otherwise, it’s turbo-charged Appeasement.

I Want It, And I Want It NOW

Among children’s books that I had the great fortune of reading and re-reading was “Which Witch Is Which?” Similarities despite differences, differences despite similarities…the trusty “appearance versus reality” theme, if memory serves.

My point is, which Nuts are craziest?  The lunatics who are running the asylum…or the OTHER lunatics who are LETTING them?  If the enemy of my enemy is my friend, who’s on first?

The people who claim not to have seen “This” coming announce promptly upon its arrival that they are precisely the ones to chart where we go from here.  Really?  Good old-fashioned horse sense doesn’t get enough credit, it really doesn’t.  Here’s something I’ve gleaned in a half-century of life experience: if something doesn’t make sense, it’s usually because something is wrong.  Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke overseeing the oh-so-aptly named Rescue makes about as much sense as…well, as breweries advertising at NASCAR events.  

I would point out the obvious that “This” is an accumulation of months and years of market activity colored by official and clandestine contrivances…it didn’t happen overnight.

But, somehow, the same people who got us into This Mess…propped up, nay elevated, by the Usual Suspects in Big Media…are further riling up an agitated people by wailing that the record-setting Bailout Bonanza didn’t fix things in the 72-hour turnaround that we think, frankly, is slow even for mini-blinds.

Fixing the mighty American economy, surely there is same-day service…with an express lane?

The answer is No, there is not.

I once heard a guy quote another guy as saying, “If you walk five miles into the woods, you have to walk at least five miles to get out.”  Once when I quoted the guy who quoted the guy, a Smart Alec said, “Not if the woods is only six miles wide.”  He was so right that I disliked him instantly and wondered why I hadn’t thought of it.  But I am right about this: we didn’t walk five miles into a six-mile-wide woods.

The bankers, the executives, the officials and our reckless and counterproductive media need to CHILL.  They are like adults who lecture their children about not panicking in an emergency, then push and shove their way over fallen bodies to escape a crowded theater in an earthquake.

America has no street cred and Washington has less.  It is not a matter of persuading investors to feel more confident so that we can change and do business rightly, but the other way around.  Right Action will inspire Confidence before Confidence will inspire Right Action.  

As things stand, investors know that crime pays in America.  They don’t want to get ripped off, and you can’t blame them.  Imprisoning the Mortgage Fraud kingpins would go a long way to restoring investor confidence, also American morale.

A clean house is much more inviting than a dirty house.