Tag Archives: Charlie Rangel

Fright Makes Might

Congress and Barack Obama are so far out of line with their 90% tax on A.I.G. bonuses, and the Americans who are applauding on the sidelines are so effing stupid and/or shortsighted, that it seems incumbent upon me to forge my own way.  The trademark perversity of American politics logically extrapolates to the people’s increasingly seeking permissions after the fact, whereupon payment of fines may be cheaper than compliance with permits.  It is not inconceivable that an after-the-fact request for permission may be coupled with a request for bailout.

An obvious problem with levying punitive taxes on a capricious ad hoc basis is that the very same methodology can be used on anyone who doesn’t tow the line.  Retroactivity is a special touch.  Like torture.  Another obvious problem, as ever, is the Moral Hazard.  I have postulated right along that we are squaring off with a Confidence Crisis rather than a Credit Crisis.  How much worse, I ask, if contracts are seen as unenforceable upon Congressional or Presidential intervention?  

Na-na-na-na-na, you ar-re screw-ewed.  We don’t have to fulfill our contract — Congress said so.  Yeah, China oughtta go for THAT.

The silver lining of this tarnished golden parachute is that we can legislate 90% taxation on the salaries that our many professional campaigners collected whilst campaigning for jobs other than the jobs that we were paying them not to do.  Two-plus years’ worth, in the oh-so-special case of Barack The One Obama.  

Pony up, dudes and dudettes.  It is one thing for our Roman Senators to vote that women shall not yet receive equal pay for equal work.  It is quite another not to demand equal payback.  Equality has to start somewhere.

For a truly striking change, the kind that might inspire confidence in our markets and our morals, American Officialdom needs either to submit to the taxes, fines, penalties and proscriptions that they levy on the citizenry or American Officials need to get out of the Tax & Punish As Economic Stimulus business.

Congress OUGHT to have known about these bonuses before they granted Hank the Bank Paulson a blank check.  Certainly those contracts were already on company books.  It reduces to Congress not reading and/or not understanding the legislation that they rushed through over virulent public protest.  Did we not have a similar problemo with the Patriot Act?

Congress aggressively levels a slanderous charge of fiduciary malfeasance against Edward Liddy, an interim CEO who wasn’t even THERE when these offensive contracts were concocted, but is utterly unrepentant about its far greater blame.  Fiduciary malfeasance?  What about Chris Dodd and Barney Frank?  What IS our plan for dealing with Traitors?  Slap on the wrist, and a coupla billion bailout bucks?

EVERY Congressperson who voted for the bailout should likewise be taxed at 90% — beginning with portly, shady, tax-evading Charlie Rangel who, in answer to a journalist’s logical question about the derivation of 90% as a tax rate, joked that he figgers State & Local will take the other 10%.

What goes around, comes around.

In the Bible thumping terms that we also hurl on an ad hoc serve-our-purpose basis, the sins of the fathers will be visited upon their sons.  But then, in another tardy nod to equality and justice, American sensibilities are ripe for holding that the sins of both mothers and fathers shall be visited upon both sons and daughters.  Bipartisan Blame.

This is harsh but fair.  After seizure of ill-gotten gains and incarceration in federal penitentiaries, the greatest conceivable deterrent against repeat of this financial clusterfuck is collective resolve that henceforth if family is at the table, family is on the table.

In that vain vein, let us also initiate aggressive taxation of Mega Estates.  Some of our biggest Assholes are on the back nine, and America will do itself a Halliburton-big favor by not permitting our Conscienceless Uber Rich to bequeath warchests to their stroke-of-luck Trophy Children.

Colleagues Without Distinction

Congress would be a laughingstock, if any of this were funny.

My countrymen will kindly and promptly recall that members of Congress have presided over this clusterfuck of a Global Financial Crisis even as they have contrived to position themselves ABOVE the financial fray.  My countrymen will kindly and promptly desist permitting these pretentious, extravagant, inept, corrupt Roman politicians to position themselves above the Blame fray.  

Members of Congress who presided over this clusterfuck of a Global Financial Crisis even as they contrived to position themselves ABOVE the financial fray refer to one another deferentially as Distinguished Colleague.  Congress doesn’t have Distinguished Colleagues.  Congress has Nincompoops, House Niggers and N’er-Do-Wells.  

I apologize in advance for my language but . . . FUCK CONGRESS.

Then — mea culpa, mea culpa for political incorrectness — I am obliged to draw attention to the bizarre juxtaposition of the American people’s laissez faire morals and their incredibly short memories.  Incredibly Short Memory is sometimes cited as the definition of the -ism of Alcoholism.  We are NOTHING, if not a nation of addicts.  

While Congressional nincompoops and bullies rake A.I.G. CEO Edward Liddy over the coals for the payout of bonuses which were established by contracts executed before his arrival at the company, I will thank those public sycophants AND our miserable selves to recall that Congress knowingly issued a blank check for the Bailout Bonanza.

I will remind our public sycophants and our miserable selves that the offensive executive bonuses were ALREADY on the books when our shitty shitty Congressional “representatives” RUSHED to legislate the most extravagant and least supervised spend-a-thon of all time. 

There they all were, jockeying shamelessly for the television airtime on C-SPAN.

Representative-I-use-the-term-loosely Nancy Pelosi of California, Speaker of the Brothel . . . who is A.) a moron and B.) the poster bitch for way-too-tight face lifts.  QUESTION: Do the Painted Ladies of Congress declare their expensive skin care treatments and products as tax exemptions?

Representative-I-use-the-term-loosely Steve Israel of New York . . . according to Wikipedia, “In his four terms in Congress, Rep. Israel has secured more that $83 million in federal appropriations to strengthen and expand Long Island’s economy.”

Representative Gary Peters of Michigan . . . who sort of seems like an okay guy and who did not produce a scandal on the first google search but who DOES list his previous occupation as a FINANCIAL CONSULTANT.

Representative-I-use-the-term-loosely Charlie Rangel of New York . . . who swaggers like a Carpetbagger under a BIG BLACK cloud of corruption charges, chiefly of the monied variety.  

Steny Hoyer of Maryland . . . who interned for Senator Brewster in the 1960′s with none other than Speaker of the Brothel Nancy Pelosi, behold what a small world, and who DARES to chastise A.I.G. for abusing the American People after we “stepped forward to help AIG.”

I don’t know about the rest of my weenie countrymen but I did NOT “step forward” to help A.I.G., or any other of these lying, cheating bastards.  I, for one, wrote often and loudly against this shameless Wall Street Welfare.  I, for one, wrote often and loudly about what amounted to an engraved invitation for GROSS graft.

The reckless and offensive executive bonuses that top the news as news WERE ON THE BOOKS WHEN CONGRESS GAVE HANK THE BANK PAULSON A BLANK CHECK.  

I apologize for my language and for repeating myself but . . . FUCK CONGRESS.

And, frankly — SOMEONE has to tell the truth — FUCK YOU if you are among the Weenies who are prepared to let this bedroom farce continue.