Tag Archives: airline travel

Come Fly With Me

Who’s paying, right?  Who will splurge for the airfare that reliably rises with the price of oil but that resists parallel price decreases.  Airfare that stubbornly defies the price decreases that typically accrue with commonality of use and steadiness of demand…think televisions, transistor radios, calculators, computers…airfare that rejects even the age-old philosophical assurance that what goes up must come down?

Carlson Wagonlit Travel, an industry Player, has issued an advisory warning of another “whopping” 10-12% increase in 2009.

CWT Predicts Whopping 2009 Airfare Hikes

If traveling companions flip a coin for who pays the airfare and who pays for the suitcases, the traveling food/drink and the transportation to/from the airport, to mix metaphors, who has drawn the shorter straw?  It depends on how cleverly and how far in advance the airfare is purchased.  If you happen to know well enough to commit to it when you’re leaving months before go…in a world where stock prices and spouses change by the hour…it is conceivable that the airfare itself will be cheaper than the various incidental costs of flying.

Does that sound like smart business?  To me, it sounds like stingy, uncreative conniving to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.  

HEY!  I have a great promotional concept.  If they buy three round-trip tickets, stand on their head while whistling Dixie AND remember a P.I.N. that they never knew had been set, then we’ll “give” them, with six weeks’ notice, a half-price companion ticket that only 65% of them will ever redeem, charge fifty dollars per bag and ten dollars per soda…toilet paper by the square…then accelerate depreciation and delay dividends…naught, naught/carry the two (Beverly Hillbillies has to have been a part of your youth to rightly picture Jethro doing math)…and voila, Better Numbers.

Better than what?  Better than last year?  Better than nothing?  Better than feared?

Lately I read an article about how whichever flailing company’s earnings were better than expected, with scarcely a fine-print mention of the charade by which expectations had been revised substantially downward prior to the report of earnings.  Earnings were not so much better than expected as less bad than anticipated. 

I will argue that the labyrinth of gimmicks and promotions…which erratically produce “deals” amidst steadily increasing prices and decreasing amenities…coupled with an almost complete absence of customer service is EXACTLY what hobbles cultivation of the reliable consumer bases requisite to sustained long-term growth.

The crews on one-hour flights still dutifully haul out the old beverage cart, impeding the aisle like a blocked artery and banging elbows like a contact sport.  ‘Tis true, that some mainly for-pay drinks are now proferred as by cocktail servers, with orders taken in small batches and delivered on trays.  But my point would be less which method of service is more interruptive of the passenger experience than WHO CANNOT GO NINETY MINUTES WITHOUT A DRINK? 

Who can afford to fly but not afford to buy an overpriced bottle of whatever in the airport?  Them there are CONCESSIONS in the airport, businesses with rents to pay and employees to support.  Let THEM handle food and drink and let airlines move people.  Specialization is a marvelous thing.  Therein lie productivity and savings alike. 

People will grouse initially.  Don’t let all that lip service to Change fool you.  Tough shinsky, these are hard times…they will have heard about that, I expect.  We all pitch in, or we all strike out.  Who’s gonna complain if cutbacks are framed logically, even patriotically?  People are not as stupid as Government and Business would like for them to be.  Average people can understand, if anyone will put it to them, that frills like complimentary soda are not free.  

Frills are like options on cars and, for the broadcloth of Americans, these really aren’t leather interior and tinted window days.  

If the airline pays for peanuts and soda and napkins and cups, the expenses are reflected in the price of flying.  That’s how businesses work, yes?  No business begins from the premise that X is the optimal price…price X it is…now that price X is set, let me go out and buy libations for my customers so that, although it eats into my profit, others will be more comfortable.  On what planet?

Here are all of my expenses, INCLUDING drinks and snacks…NOW let me determine the airfare=price.

Airlines charging for even one suitcase…which goes into a hold that is designed specifically for purpose of carrying the bags that travelers are noted for carrying…is rather like a bartender charging extra for the glass.  

Here ya go, a brainstorm to enhance restaurant revenue.  In an effort to keep our food prices competitive amidst increasing costs for maintaining the dinnerware inventory…considering theft, breakage, dishwashers, water and soap…we now give our customers the option of paying a surcharge for plates and utensils or of having the food delivered at no extra charge directly into their hands.  This is common practice in other parts of the world, is it not?  Think of it as gastronomic multiculturalism.

I’ve got my eye on the nifty word-count feature off to my right, and I’m getting on toward 900 of them without even having gotten to the point.  One of my favorite quotes comes from French mathematician, physicist and philosopher Blaise Pascal, “I am writing you a long letter because I lack the time to make it short.”

The point that I am working my way toward, in the circuitous manner of a person who is inclined to procrastination and verbosity and distracted by Campaign-O-Rama, is that the proposed merger of Northwest and Delta Airlines is a superlatively bad idea.  America will rue the day that it apprehended salvation from financial woes via Mega Mergers.

A Libertarian asserted to me the other day that monopolies are not necessarily bad.

Malarkey.

Monopolies are to free markets as dictators are to democracies.

And oligopolies are to monopolies as Wanna Be’s are to Rock Stars. 

If You Give A House A Garage

Another of the children’s books that I was blessed to read a gazillion times was “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.”  If you give a mouse a cookie, chances are he’ll ask you for a glass of milk to go with it.  If you give him a glass of milk, chances are, he’ll ask you for a straw.  Then a napkin, then a mirror to check for a milk moustache, then scissors for a little trim, and on and on.

If you give a house a garage, chances are the household will buy as many cars as there are bays, plus a spare…that is, unless the garage houses the house’s overflow of Stuff and the cars spill onto the driveway and street.

How many people drove more than 30 minutes to work today?  How many people are this instant scoffing that they would LOVE to drive “only” 30 minutes to work?  How many people regularly spend an hour or more, each way, commuting to and from work?  The mind REELS at the lost productivity.

The heart breaks at the lost living.

Happily, since the Great Majority enjoys the privacy of individual coaches, a certain amount of productivity occurs as owner/operators work IN their car/offices…which is to say while operating moving equipment, amidst lots of other moving equipment, with other owner/operators doin’ THEIR thing.

In 2000, I took a driving course that came “with” purchase of a particular car.  Driving Dynamics, it was called.  SenSAtional.  It changed my life and I am NOT exaggerating.  As just a HUGE fer instance, there is no “blind spot” if your mirrors are positioned rightly.  Make no mistake, not having to look over your shoulder to change lanes in traffic that is sailing along at 70 or 80 miles as hour is a BIG plus.  I’m right smack in the middle of the Baby Boom…we were taught to drive by the P.E. teachers/coaches.  Whether Driver’s Education SHOULD be taught in high school is one debate but separately, in retrospect, I AM interested to know the rationale behind gym teacher = driving instructor.

One of the things I “learned”…more like, a gist that I recall without specifics…had to do with the number of feet a car will go forward, no matter HOW quick you are to “slam on the brakes.”  I want to say that it takes .06 seconds to get your foot from the accelerator to the brake, and I feel like I remember the numbers 60 and 90.  I sort of want to say that, regardless how swift a driver’s reaction time, a car traveling at 60 mph will still move forward 90 feet BEFORE the brakes are applied.  It seems unlikely that a driving course would give us examples of cars driving at 90 mph.  Of course, I’m not even sure those are the numbers although the point-six seconds sounds reasonable.  To make a short story long, the casualness of tailgating is an ongoing and substantial hazard to life and property.

In the same spirit, that pen you’re holding?  A projectile.

California banned talking on a phone while driving, unless it’s hands-free, but what do they say about the MILLIONS of us who are driving around holding three more shots of caffeine in a cup that is hot enough to warrant a “sleeve?”  Not a word about the people who simultaneously drive and shave, apply make-up, smoke, change channels, hold dogs, discipline children, write notes, read maps, READ BOOKS.  I have seen all this and more…not only on the streets of Los Angeles, but on the freeways…including, oddly, application of aerosol deoderant.

When the Rescue plan was a mere Bailout Proposal, I was talking to someone at one of the financial houses, “Sooo, whadyya think…reward the Bad Guys and one more fix for the Crack Addicts, or let ‘em sweat it out in Financial Rehab?”

“They HAVE to pass it.”

“Why?”

She went on to say that credit was “completely” frozen…that, by way of example, the lease was up on her car and that even she couldn’t even get financing for another lease.

I’m gonna be honest here, this doesn’t sound like a crisis to me.

We have lots and lots…and lots upon lots…indeed, we have ACRES of Used Cars.  

We are long and debilitatingly at war, even ostriches have come face to face with our Oil Situation, our economy is in the crapper and so is national morale…separately from Obamamania, of course…and we would throw MORE Assistance Money at Detroit?

I’m sure I oversimplify, but I also don’t buy the bullshit that everything is always more complicated than we realize.  The only thing that’s rocket science is rocket science.  Literally, all things considered, I cannot imagine why we would roll even ONE car off the line that isn’t at least a hybrid.  Stipulating exceptions…there are always exceptions…commercial vehicles, emergency vehicles, whatever.  So stipulated.  But for regular transportation for regular people, no, I cannot imagine the Reason.  If they build it, we will come?

Light rail.  Light rail.  Light rail.  Electricity.

Free up the oil for AvJet product supply line.  We want MORE airlines.  We want CHEAPER airfares.  For all the Stuff that all the people are spending all the money to get all the other people to buy, I believe that people on the move always spend more money than people at home.  Think about how you bleed money on a vacation.

Then think how you can’t afford the airfare even if you could afford the hotel bill, which presupposes that you even get that kind of vacation time where you work.

Not only people but the entire economy endures abiding negative impact from our LOUSY transportation systems.  People and entire ECONOMIES, note the plural, endure abiding loss of revenue because travel is prohibitively expensive to the rank and file.

Feed the classes, dine with the masses.  Feed the masses, dine with the classes.

We won’t even have to fight Big Oil to make it happen.  ExxonMobil Aviation, who knew?

http://www.exxonmobilaviation.com/AviationGlobal/default.asp