Author Archives: Admin

-ISM: Incredibly Short Memory

On the Recovery Circuit, it is suggested that the ‘-ism’ of alcoholism stands for Incredibly Short Memory.  I will argue that it stands for Incredibly Short Memory with other -ism’s as well, including but not limited to activism, evangelism, communism and corporatism. 

On the chance that it resonates with anyone but me, otherwise just for the hell of it, I re-print a piece I wrote before bailout bucks commenced flying out of Congress like so much candy out of a pinata.  I do stand corrected on the matter of money not simply disappearing.  A lot of money DID “simply” disappear — I did not realize just how much of the “money” wasn’t money at all, but leverage-read-that-accounting-entries.  Make no mistake, though, a lotta lotta REAL money “simply” changed hands.

THE PLURAL OF WOLF IS WOLVES
26 September 2008

Certainly the urgency of the “run up” to the Great Bailout is reminiscent of our reaction to another terrorist attack.  Schizophrenic overkill and underkill, like the Addicts that we are.

There are traders and bankers…and appraisers, and real estate agents and loan officers and risk managers and government officials, who are SUPPOSED to be risk managers…who both contributed to The Mess (Disaster has been overused, like Whatever, and like) AND who profited from The Mess.

It is less that we should be bailing people OUT of their problems, but locking people up for CREATING the problems.  Laws have been broken.  Shit like this doesn’t just happen.  Check these people, WHO ARE PAID A LOT OF MONEY TO SEE THAT SHIT LIKE THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN, saying that we “find” ourselves between a rock and a hard place.  “We” “have” to do “something.”

The principles of a Free Market are not in crisis.

The market will sort this out before anyone in Washington ever will.  People in Washington THRIVE on problems.

I saw a C-SPAN segment on transportation this past spring and an outside expert…who was now volunteering his time after the funding for his salary had been depleted…reported among his learnings that adding ONE government dollar to a project adds ELEVEN YEARS to delivery or completion.

The corruption, abuse and waste are daily an assault on the senses.

My background, education and experience lead me to believe that the chief “danger” that is fueling an urgency that Congress seems never to be able to muster in the name of orderly business is that some of the Big Boys are starting to lose serious money.

The Bay Area real estate/investment banker couple that I mention elsewhere are acquainted with someone who just lost $50 million dollars, half his assets.  You were worth $100 million a few weeks ago and now you’re worth $50 million.  It’s a big difference.

The money has not disappeared.  The Biggest and Smartest Money is waiting to swoop.  A “Disaster” like this represents a Buying Opportunity for them.

The truly Big Money is waiting to see what the bottom is.  What goes down must come up.  The Great Bailout proposes to ESTABLISH a bottom by buying all the crappiest stuff, then the Players can cherry pick with assurance.  We know how adverse they are to risk taking.

Not that I don’t feel for some of the people…my own security has been much compromised…but I feel certain that we should bail out NO ONE.

No matter how many ways you spin it, no matter which way you divvy it up, it not only constitutes rewarding bad behavior, it constitutes rewarding bad behavior that has been profitable.

Crime pays…what the hell kind of a message is that?

Every single thing that has ever been rammed through this Congress has turned out to front an ulterior motive.  We know this.  We have no reason to think this is any different.  That the richest and most powerful men on earth are rooting for this “rescue” speaks trillions.  The richest and most powerful men on earth are seldom friends of the Common People.

Haste makes waste.  Patience is a virtue.  This is the wisdom of the ages.  

Also methinks they doth protest too much.

Granny, what big teeth you have.

What are we thinking, that the sky will fall on Monday?  It won’t.  The sun will come up, and there will be the first of the sham and irritating “journalists” of CNN, coiffed and confident in assuring me over and over and over and over that I am listening to the Most Trusted Name In News.

No, I’m not.  And Anderson Cooper is NOT keeping them honest.

They are announcing, with exclamation points, that unfortunately The Mess has American taxpayers over a barrel.  Hello?  The American citizenry has BEEN over a barrel for years.  

The low end of the high flyers are feeling the squeeze.  The Players will give it the Old College Try to save their asses…it’s the fraternity-brother-alumni-Ivy-League-inner-circle thing to do.  But they’ll let them fry, too.  It will be a revelation to the Middling Top Executives of Bad Big Business to learn just how expendable they are.

Bernanke?  Paulson?  They’re WAY above the fray, even as they’re constantly in the thick of things.  How can it be, if they are in the habit of not foreseeing wallapaloozas, that their personal portfolios fare so much better than the American economy?

Banks are like casinos, the gig is rigged in their favor.

The Great Bailout speaks EXACTLY to the delusion that underpins The Mess that wants bailing out…that somehow, with enough fancy footwork…no one has to take the hit.

The notion that people can be protected from all the vagaries of life is, in my view, perhaps the WORST thing that the Democratic party has infused into American politics.  It’s bullshit.

So is the Great Bailout.

Ever has it been said, there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Pick your cautionary tale.

Little Red Riding Hood…what was she thinking?

Come in, come in my little Prettie, and Toto too…yeah, right.

The Trojan Horse…a gift, wasn’t that nice of the enemy?  Let’s bring it inside.

Again and again, gullibility and misplaced trust.

I cannot think of a single thing, not one piece of evidence, that warrants believing this motley crew about anything or taking anyone’s word for a disparity between their words and their deeds.  I look as forward as the next guy to a leisurely stretch of peace, goodwill and the essence of Ohm, but this isn’t it.

The very people who CONTRIVED the crisis are SCARING the public into thinking that we are doomed if we do not bend over and accept a vague, sweeping, secretive, crony-serving Fix.

They’re lying.

It’s what Liars do.

SEC: Salaries Exchange Commission

I have a theory that far oftener than Anonymous Sources blow whistles, they throw shit at walls to see what will stick.

Bull Shit, More Shit, Piled high and Deep.

PAST DUE WAGES THAT HAVE BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED WITH I.O.U.’S SHALL BECOME SECURITIES?  TO BE TRADED AT FAIR-I-USE-THE-TERM-LOOSELY MARKET VALUES?  Lemme get this straight . . . wages are to be discounted, with financiers to take a cut?  Hank The Ban

Most Americans live paycheck to paycheck.  Obviously.  Who can have forgotten about THE DEBT under which everyone is staggering?  People are in arrears, people are on the edge, PEOPLE NEED CASH TO FLOAT THEIR BOATS.  Who cannot see that people will be motivated to trade I.O.U.’s which signify a specified earned wage for LESS than the amount contracted?  This is BLATANTLY a scheme to discount the wages of American labor  to reflect the downward adjustment of “all asset classes.”  In other words, by the Fraud Factor.

One is too many and a million are not enough is said about a drink for an alcoholic.  America is inarguably a Nation of Addicts.  I will say the same about outraged calls and letters to Officialdom, one is too many and a million are not enough.  Just say NO.  Just say . . .

THE FAIR MARKET VALUE OF THOSE I.O.U.’S IS THE FACE VALUE, NOTHING LESS.

To Stand Or Not To Stand?

I vote STAND, then hasten to add

Lest multiple czars I do make mad

Apprehending so little bravery

‘Tis rhyme merely cautionary

Not Rebel Will with which it grapples

But distinction of our own Bad Apples

 

The smallest percent of a little fraction

A dreadful Few without compunction

Enfants Terrible, Elite Internacional

Nepotism, cronyism, parent and pal

Cliquish and clannish, cloaked in deceit

Greed beyond measure, limitless conceit

 

The Haves who honorably earned their wealth

‘Stead of watching fortunes frittered by stealth

Would better cut bait with the Robber Barons

The O’Neals, Geithners, Exxons and Paulsons

A proud rich class known for excellent endeavor

Will smite derelict few if they’d gain mass favor

 

To what advantage protect the Kingpins

Whose names will fall in history’s dustbins

In the fullness of time and underling rage

When blame is memorialized on the page

The best and brightest, the richest and statesmen

Can circumvent the pitfall of guilt by association

 

Deliver the Bad Guys unto public ire

Cast cloak and dagger upon the pire

Success and wealth are not crimes or offenses

But Crooks hogtie Achievers with their defenses

Not class against class but classes against classless

If phoenix-like, Reason would arise from the ashes 

 

Fun And Revolution Rhyme, Sort Of

Wisdom holds that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure

Scavenger hunting and treasure hunting, the twain shall meet

To rouse Fearful from cowardice and Privileged from pleasure

Discreet the feat is heat to feet in tandem with repeating treat. 

A.I.G. = Amazing Insider Gall

INSIDER TRADING IS A CRIME.

There are some Players who need to be put in federal penitentiaries and whose assets we need to seize.  Otherwise, ASIDE FROM THE MORAL HAZARD OF CRIME PAYING REALLY WELL IN AMERICA, confidence will not be restored to the market.  Or to the dollar.  ”We” — very royal, that we — are exposed before the world as liars, thieves, scam artists and charlatans.  Also bullies, it bears mention.

And yet We The People, the OTHER dilettantes, are afraid to prosecute and punish our own Bad Guys.

Goldman SACKS Executives — and Harvard and Yale Universities, it ALSO bears mention — feature in a percent and notoriety of our scandals that is entirely outta whack with Laws of Probability.

Did I read rightly that an aide to Barney Frank has been successfully recruited to lobby for Goldman Sachs?  May I remind my gullible countrymen that Barney Frank is not incidental but CENTRAL to the Subprime Slash Derivative disaster-slash-conflict-of-interest that fueled the Mortgage Meltdown which fueled the Housing Crisis which is fueling busts in commercial real estate and corporate paper.

Allow me to suggest that lobbying should be unlawful.  Failing that — ‘cuz we all know that MONEY TALKS AND BULLSHIT WALKS IN AMERICA — allow me to suggest that former Public Servants should be prohibited from entering the oh-so-lucrative lobbying industry and that Mercenaries from the oh-so-lucrative lobbying industry should be prohibited from holding public office.

American Co-Dependence Day

bearing-gifts3

Independence is a thing of the past

Co-dependence is more fashionable

Erosion of liberty is breakneck fast

White collar crime is pardonable.


Ask not whether the Elite is favored

Fear not world order or total control

Accept freedom is differently flavored

For Rulers and those on the dole.


Count handouts as if they are blessings

And count blessings as if they are facts

Submit to the courts, defer to the kings

Sit down, shut up and pay tax.

Boycott Fourth Of July

We boycott independence every other day of the last several years, we can damn well boycott Independence Day.

That WE is Royal, by the by. I no longer consider myself to be ideologically related to many of my countrymen. No matter.  The American Revolutionary War, by which we became a sovereign nation and the fruits of which we are kicking to the curb like a first wife, was apparently fought and won by three percent of the population.

Let’s get this straight. RIGHT IS ALWAYS OUTNUMBERED AND/OR OUTGUNNED. It’s been that way for all of recorded history. We ourselves are perpetually at war. We have every reason to believe that RIGHT WILL BE OUTNUMBERED AND/OR OUTGUNNED FOR THE MEANINGFUL FUTURE. Which is to say all of our lifetimes.

I have contempt for anyone who celebrates Independence Day this year. Demonstrate? Excellent. Agitate? Three percent. Boycott?  Are we kidding me?

EVERYONE WHO IS NOT A LOYALIST, A PROFITEER, AN OPPORTUNIST OR A CHOWDER HEAD SHOULD BOYCOTT THE FOURTH OF JULY.

We are NOT independent. We are so not independent that we file applications for PERMITS TO DEMONSTRATE INDEPENDENCE. If the supremely ironic PERMIT TO DEMONSTRATE INDEPENDENCE is not granted, by and large and pathetically, we stand down.

We make me sick.

I reckon that makes me a Three Percenter.

Conspicuous Non-Consumption

Some things just stand to Reason.  When this side is telling you that, and that side is telling you this, ponder what stands to Reason.  For one thing, it stands to Reason that we have brains for a reason.  Use ‘em or lose ‘em.

The “deleveraging” process in which we “find” ourselves?  That’s BAD DEBT that is being unraveled . . . the more slowly owing to the continued blitzes by Advertisers AND Government commanding us to buy, Buy, BUY.  

WHO is not clear that More, More, More, Waste, Indulgence, New & Improved, Extravagance, This Year’s Model, Recklessness, Bigger, Better, Faster, Greed, GREED and MORE GREED lie beneath the bullshit through which we are daily slogging?  WHO THE FUCK IS NOT CLEAR ON THIS POINT?  Email me: implausibleendeavors@gmail.com

And STILL  . . . I can scarcely believe my ears . . . I hear shopper-pleasers like “No Money Down” and “No Payments Until Whenever.”  You know what I want?  I want a cross-reference between the Players in the Mortgage Meltdown and the Players in Loan Modification.  The names that appear on both lists are EXACTLY with whom to begin criminal investigations, with an eye on relieving people of licenses to practice where pertinent (“luckily,” we have plenty of qualified Unemployed to fill their loafers) and of tossing particularly dirty white collars in with the orange-clad crowd.

For corrupt politicians and corrupt executives alike, I favor Lifetime Bans from politics, finance and law.

If we will avoid a repeat of this financial fiasco, which follows on the S&L fiasco, which follows on a previous bailout of Detroit, WE MUST TAKE THE BAD GUYS TO TASK.  The alleged Credit Crisis has always paled beside the CONFIDENCE CRISIS.

But separately . . . even if we could punish all the scoundrels and slay all the dragons . . . the Belt Tightening remains.  In the same way that we have no ethical or practical choice but to vanquish our Made In America Bad Guys, we have no ethical or practical choice but to CURTAIL SPENDING.

Curtailed Spending and Strategic Boycotts go together like . . . well, like Hank the Bank Paulson and Tiny Tim Geithner.

Money talks.  Withholding money hollers right back.

Moral Hazard Fire Sale

If there will be Justice, without which we will at a later date mimic this “financial crisis” like a funhouse mirror, the American economy SHOULD get substantially worse before it gets better.

All this meddling and micromanaging, aside from bolstering yesterday’s ineptitude by undermining tomorrow’s productivity, serves chiefly to mitigate the losses of the richest and most rapacious men on earth. They went overboard, like Midas. An exhilarating ride gone off the tracks — reminds me of the old Wild Mouse ride, at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk back in the day. HAIR RAISING.

Now we’re all scrambling like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to interrupt as little as possible the same reckless spending that got us into trouble in the first place. In order to keep the same kingpins in their dominant positions, albeit with everyone’s numbers adjusted by the Creative Accounting Index. This is Theater of the Absurd, nothing less.

My countrymen are cowards, nothing more.

Unmitigated Assholes are not only freewheeling with impunity, they are being hyper rewarded with bailouts and bonuses. Soft, spoiled, and selfish, an apparently commanding majority of Americans are prepared to let it slide so long as their personal prosperity and security can be re-established . . . albeit with everyone’s numbers slashed by the Cheating Index. Please don’t hurt us.  

“Not in the face” has been replaced by “Don’t take my remote control.”

Government agencies investigate one another. Police investigate their own brutality. Federal Falderal. I’m coining that term, right here and now — captured in the bowels of the electronic archives that my sneaky, pervy Uncle Sam is collecting. The other day, I coined Slackerocity.  I coined it at a Board That Shall Not Be Named unless its elder statesmen start standing up for women when Misogynists spew their venom.  I confirmed coinage of Slackerocity in an email.  Here’s what I know.  If I said something on a Board and confirmed it by email and it offended my sneaky, pervy Uncle Sam, he wouldn’t hesitate to declare it sufficient grounds to persecute me.  His iron fist would back up his assertion that my damning words were a MATTER OF RECORD.  So too, then, with Federal Falderal and Slacerocity.  I am ON RECORD.

See, I have had an Epiphany.  I’ll get to all the paperwork when and if I get to all the paperwork.  Life is short and the world is big, and we are wasting both while Political High Flyers fly high on the backs of the Working Poor.  And I’ve got hard news for you-You.  I don’t care WHAT your lifestyle — it matters not, how modest OR HOW GRAND — if all you do is work in order to keep that boat afloat and your own nose above water, you are Working Poor.

When Henry Paulson browbeat Congress into authorizing a blank check for TARP funds, a lot of the scare was that companies would not be able to meet payroll without passage of the Welfare Wizardry.  Why are we not talking about the APPALLING revelation that so many organizations which accrue payroll liability do not have the next payroll banked?  Will the people with the perky parachutes please ponder what is liable to happen if a large workforce that lives hand-to-mouth puts in two weeks’ labor only to discover that there is no money to cover their paychecks?  Municipal Mayhem, that’s what. 

Shy of Force, there is only one venue to play hardball and it’s the marketplace.

That is why before America attacks a mutinously willful country, “we” first impose Economic Sanctions.

Partner Up, Hunker Down

Little Rahm Emanuel, dancer cum banker

Loyalties divided, a chip on his shoulder

Declares citizens orphaned from La Familia

With nary a word from our elusive Militia.

 

Inquisitive minds with penchants for survival

Are obliged to ponder the lack of upheaval

How could it be that Rednecks and Bad Asses

Mildly witness subjugation of their classes?

 

Sexists, Chauvinists, Pricks and Patriarchs

Have bites that little resemble their barks

Why would the manliest of American men

Stand down in the face of brazen oppression?

 

A riddle most worthy, an answer most pressing

Without populist force, it’s all window dressing

Conspicuous consumers and Suburbanites

Are the tippers of scales in civilized fights.

 

There are Unprepared millions of single women

And yang to yin, millions of Prepared single men

Grown remote from the society they would save

Fighting for freedom to a lonely early grave.

 

If Free Radical unions were commonly joined

And Patriot Partnerships were widely coined

For financial savings and emotional supports

Think efficient and felicitous Way Cool Forts.

 

Economies of scale never gather to One

It’s garishly plain, one by one we’re undone

Survival and resistance are team endeavors

Endgame forgives mixing business with pleasures.

 

One-night stands, steady girlfriends, long-haul wives

I propose matching singles will enhance many lives

Associations of couples, akin to a Firm

The better to ride out America’s shit storm.

 

By fours and by sixteens, by eighties or eights

Economy in numbers, safety at the gates

Biblically speaking, it’s a time for group worship

If it’s secular bullshit, think Entrepreneurship.

 

Whether all hell breaks loose or order is restored

Camaraderie and good cheer are meantime reward

Split the cost, share the risk, have some sex, get some sleep

Vowing watchful defense for each other to keep.

 

Of those who did perish with the Titanic sunk

Who suffered least were getting laid or getting drunk

A run for their money, a fright to their senses

Lies in a generalized mending of fences.

 

Should Reason in governance finally prevail

And a Patriot Partnership has known travail

A built-in expiration date set from the start

Will sound business practice trump unruly heart.

 

If a Baby Bang follows, that’s all to our good

The next wave of shopping, from houses to food

Beside our pitiful divorce rate of fifty percent

Rebel unions will be as winsome by accident

 

Prosperity and posterity, I spy focus

In Patriot Matchmaking Hocus Pocus

I spy another in rest and recreation

Destination spots for the family vacation.

 

Outdoors and hooked up, with acreage for training

Marksmanship and skillz whether sun, snow or raining

A place to swap stories and bring current the news

A haven for our like-minded to ward off the blues.

 

Their hotels, planes and restaurants will flounder

If the Coach class reverts to camping out yonder

With S’mores and War Stories by  campfire’s glow

Patriot Hideaways, kinda like Bohemian Grove.