Monthly Archives: September 2009

Mo’ Joe Biden’s Mo’ Big Mouth

Biden's Mouth
 

“Pure self interest, Jay,” Biden responded. “If it fails, I’m dead.”

According to the Wall Street Journal’s Washington Wire, that is how our strangely silver-and-splintered tongued VICE President signed off on a call with Governors, who are shortly obliged to report how many jobs were created OR SAVED owing to their state’s cut of the Bailout Bonanza pie.

http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2009/09/24/biden-on-stimulus-never-thought-it-would-work-this-well/ 

Y’know what?  From his lips to God’s ears.  It’s about time failed executives start falling on their swords.  What else would a man of Honor do if he is responsible for, ultimately, human wreckage on a grand scale but take his OWN life?  There is Biblical pardon and secular poetry in it.

But not so fast, relegating Biden’s latest linguistic loopiness to the JOE BIDEN GAFFES department, which is the very FIRST auto-option that pops up after generic JOE BIDEN on a Google search of Joe Biden.  Quelle embarrassing.

I think we are not so fortunate that Joe Biden or many other disgraced executives WILL fall on their swords.  I think the American economy can and almost certainly will get steadily and increasingly worse . . . and I think Biden and Obama will be right there on the re-election campaign trail, with more excuses and more promises.  They will unapologetically preach transparency and accountability.

It seems not unlikely that holding politicians’ feet to the fire is a first step in fighting fire with fire.  To wit, let us rake over this v.p./governor phone call with a finer-toothed comb.  The kind that makes the lice fall out.  So we can dig for the ticks.

I would call out the GLARING insensitivity of a man who is not only out of harm’s way but, for all practical purposes, REGALLY out of harm’s way AND positioned among those who send others off to die.  Spare me about his son.  And know that I am ready to POUNCE on the nepotism thing.  Are you kidding me?  Biden’s son, McCain’s son, the Clintons’ daughter . . . Jenna Bush is married to a Karl Rove protégé, fer cryin’ out loud.  Rand Paul, too.  Ridin’ his daddy’s coattails.  Family Dynasties are bad enough in Society, they are anathema in Government.

 

FIRST:  Joe Biden, second in command in the United States of America, is cavalier – nay, JOCULAR – in tossing the word/concept of Death around.  Duly noted.  Small wonder, then, that Dance Your Ass Off! and triple mocha frappuccinos are percolating right along against a backdrop of perpetual war.  Wanker.Biden The Goof

 

NEXT:  Joe Biden is a lawyer, FORMER USED CAR SALESMAN, and longtime, longwinded bureaucrat.  Not a very good lawyer, I could guess, in light of his Plagiarism history.  My countrymen are notorious for their short memories and attention spans, but I am here to argue that Plagiarism speaks VOLUMES about both intellect and character.  TWO episodes of Plagiarism has Joe If-It-Fails-I’m-Dead Biden to his . . . debit.

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2008/08/joe_bidens_plagiarism_problem.html

WHY is this faux-cool veep of modest intellect and immodest mouth overseeing the expenditure of SEVEN HUNDRED AND EIGHTY SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS of TARP funds?  Seven hundred and eighty seven trillion dollars looks like this:  $787,000,000,000.  Joe Biden.  Interesting, though, about his used car salesman stint, and how Used Cars have featured in the Bailout Bonanza.

It is also interesting — in an ewww kind of way — to learn that Big Spender Biden is himself a cheapskate with charitable contributions.  His release of ten years of tax records revealed that, with annual earnings exceeding $200,000, Joe & Jill Biden gave of themselves on the order of TWO DOLLARS PER WEEK in charitable contributions.

http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2008/09/biden-releases.html

 

THIRD:  From what PLANET does Joe Biden look down upon us? 

“In my wildest dreams, I never thought it would work this well,” [Biden] said. “Thank you, thank you.”

“What you guys are doing is having an impact on the economy…knock wood,” said Biden, punctuating it with the sound of knocking ostensibly on a wooden surface.

If things are working so well and the governors are positively impacting the economy, what’s the phone call about?  Are we to understand that Joe Biden basically doesn’t know WHAT the states are doing with the money?  I’ve been driving around this country for the past three years and, on the ground – the part that the Joe Bidens fly over – things are getting WORSE, not better.

Which segues to,

 

ANOTHER THING:  I would draw the attention of my gullible and forgetful countrymen to the oh-so-lenient measure of “jobs created or saved.”  It is as NOTHING to simply not fire people, funnel billions of bailout bucks wherever, and declare that jobs were saved.  I am left to conclude that oversight of the $787,000,000,000 TARP spending plan that was crammed down the American taxpayers’ throats approximates parents departing on a year-long, round-the-world tour by giving their teenagers blank checks, a credit card with unlimited credit, and an admonition not to spend it foolishly or all in one place.

 

FIFTH:  When asked how certain governors were chosen to participate in the telephone forum (in which Joe Biden “allowed” four questions), Joe The Comic Biden replied, “I’m not sure how we picked the governors…except that Jim Douglas is the chairman of the National Governors Association and O’Malley is Irish.”  The WSJ reports that Biden, curiously, TWICE told the group that he is Irish.

I’m Irish, too, and I am offended.  If the American VICE President – the one who dreamed up Drug Czar and whose druggie daughter got off scott free – is not smart enough to recognize that these are not joking matters, he should at least make GOOD jokes.  Irish humor, my ass.

 

SIXTH, LAST & NOT LEAST:  Biden refused Governor Nixon’s request for “a bit more time to fact-check job numbers before they are released to the public.”  Not to worry, said Joe The Economist Biden.  The TARP Czar elaborated by saying he knows that the information is “not going to be perfect.”

Biden I'm The Man

 

Could we possibly set the bar any lower? 

This would be laughable, if any of it were funny.

Never Never Never Never Give Up, Winston Churchill

I have begun this blogging business too many times to refer to this as a Maiden Voyage.  More like a midnight sail after the dinner cruise and before dry dock. After the Love Boat and before the Titanic.

Here goes nuthin’.  Again.

Allow me to state a few of the premises from which I operate. People who disagree with my premises are not likely to agree with my analyses or deductions and, in consequence, are unlikely to appreciate my master craftsmanship or rapier wit. They should feel free to lead, follow or get out of the way.  

In order of mental percolation not societal importance, stipulating that others will assuredly be remembered or learned, some of my axioms are posted below.  Sometimes I feel like Sisyphus . . . two steps forward, and all the way back down the hill. Sometimes I feel like Lucy Ricardo . . . I have an IDEA.

Premise:  There is an omnipotent, omniscient,  omnipresent and benevolent for-lack-of-a-bigger-or-better-word God.

Premise:  He who giveth can usually control and/or take away.  Who can speak Truth without autonomy?  No sane person can be expected to bite the hand that feeds him. I will ask those for whom my writing resonates to send to me ONE DOLLAR per year, so that I am paid for my Labor but indebted to no one. Indebted people pull their punches. One dollar per year = no ads + no book to buy = good deal.

Premise:  Life is not fair and Equality is malarkey.  Fairness and Equality are maypoles of mischief for opportunistic politicians and Limousine Liberals.

Premise:  The bigger government is, the worse it is — by every measure but one. Big government employs a lotta lotta people who are overpaid with taxpayer-read-that-purloined dollars to do a lotta lotta busywork.

Premise:  American Governments, all of ‘em, are shot through and through with corruption, ineptitude, wastefulness, extravagance and stupidity. Me, I say also Treason. Me, I am with Cicero in certitude that Traitors must be executed. Public Officials who are “merely” corrupt should be sent to federal penitentiaries, ordered to pay restitution, relieved of their pensions, and banned from both politics and finance. Wankers. 

Premise:  The people who think that when things finally get bad enough, the rest of the people will wise up and see everything their way are, in a word, DELUSIONAL.

 

Consensus is a simple but difficult riddle
Lying always somewhere near the middle 


Premise: Lifetime political activists constitute their own Elite.  They have zero motivation to actually ever fix anything — politicking and arguing is their hobby. Yes, well.  I am here to acquaint them with the reality that most of us do NOT enjoy The Political Process, and are NOT prepared to spend year in and year out mentally masturbating in our “side’s” circle jerk.  This is a PREPOSTEROUS way to use up a life.

Premise:  There is no such thing as a free lunch. The wisdom of the ages that money doesn’t grow on trees?  The SPIRIT of the adage implicates printing presses as well.

Premise:  Bad Guys are looting the United States Treasury.

Premise:  Bullies are NEVER talked out of being Bullies. Bullies are NEVER reasoned into niceness. Bullies respond to cajoling by heaping MORE abuse on those who have revealed themselves to be whiner weaklings — read that, Appeasers. A punch in the nose, literally or figuratively, is what “inspires” a Bully to knock it off.

Premise:  Most Bullies are Cowards.

Premise:  Regrettably, most Americans are also Cowards.

Premise:  No Reform ever occurred but that a fearless Minority with vision, ethics and stick-to-it-ive-ness rolled up their sleeves and shoveled the shit.

Premise:  As an American, I am not obliged to embrace every other culture on earth. IN America, I am not obliged to accommodate the cultures of people who come here but decline to assimilate.  Americana is cool.  I am sick and effing tired of pressing ONE for English in my own country.  Pre-Obama, I was called a nigger-lover.  Post-Obama, I am called a racist.  Screw it.  My new idea of diversity is the International House of Pancakes.

Premise:  The telecommunication providers are riddled with scam artistry.

Premise:  Amnesty for Illegals is bullshit. Benefits for Illegals is bullshit.  No country on earth reciprocates.  It is Limousine Liberality — on other people’s dime, natch — to the ruinous Nth degree.  They’re buyin’ votes.

Premise:  Irrespective of how it is dressed up as Robin Hood Do Goodery, the bottom line is that Taxation is theft.  It is. Absolutely as little of it as possible should be tolerated.

Premise:  It is lunacy that government officials should live high off the hog, while the people endure backbreaking taxation.  In-your-face INSANITY. 

Premise:  Actions have consequences. Consequences are teachers. Absence of consequences causes fraudulent but profitable activities to proliferate.  Our current financial clusterfuck is not without precedent in the S&L “crisis.”  How many Big Shots went to prison on that one?  One, who was pardoned before he served a day?

Premise:  The War On Drugs is bullshit. Marijuana and hemp constitute low-hanging fruit that would MATERIALLY AND BENEFICIALLY impact the economy. The continued criminalization of marijuana is unjust and hypocritical. The incarceration and ruination of pot smokers is beyond unchristian, it is unconscionable.  Besides ruining people’s lives, we are wasting fortunes on bogus Judicial.

Premise:  The longer and longer and stronger and stronger arm of American Law Enforcement is OUT. OF. CONTROL. I will argue that powers who cower in ivory towers are contriving for Law Enforcement to be scapegoats, both feeling and fueling the increasing public ire. I urge Law Enforcement to recall that the oaths they swore are to defend principles, not personalities.

Premise:  The pen is mightier than the sword in the long run, to be sure. But in the short run, a mighty sword is mitigated by money . . . or another sword.

They will have to kill me to shut me up.

Please send $1 cash to: Implausible Endeavors LLC, 8306 Wilshire Blvd. PMB 46, Beverly Hills, CA, 90211.

A dollar a year, that’s it.  Think, Lucy Ricardo . . . and a PLAN.  C’mon, it’ll be fun.